gnocchi's blog

http://ltradio.blogspot.com/2008/01/top-10-liberal-talkers-of-2007.html

Second only the the great Mike Malloy. Congratulations Sammy!

Alas the promised all-rimshot Lionel show did not materialize, so I had to listen to His Whineness once again.

Have fun reading, but also make sure to visit Lionel's blog where you can select "Retard Voting Rights" as your very favorite segment of This Week In Lionel.

What we learned on today's Lionel Show:

• If you don't prepare adequately (or at all) for a radio show, that means you're "wacky".




• Lionel doesn't want people to call up and "throw the subject matter off".




• Today is Day 4 of the great Thread/Blog/Spot/Post debate.




• 3545 dead in the Iraq war -- every day is memorial day on The Lionel Show.




• Unless it cuts into gay hand time.




• By the way, did you know your hand could be gay? (yeah, he followed the count of war dead with the gay hand thing)




• Lionel's rehash of the 10-year-old gay hand thing had "everybody walking around, staring at their hands like it was a religious experience."




• OK, maybe that was just Lionel and his crew.




• But the pictures are still up on the blog so you can check!




• Yesterday's show was "timeless".




• This one time, some woman was really really drunk.




• Lionel doesn't know what to do with that.




• Lionel's favorite crime is armed robbery.




• Some stoned guy did something dumb.




• If the vote had been counted, perhaps Al Gore would be president.




• That might have resulted in the country going down a different path.




• The supreme court had a lot to do with this.

Let's see, what do we have today?
    Misogyny? Check.
    Screamingly unfunny bits repeated over and over? Check.
    Pedantry, sophistry and solipsism passed off as intelligent radio? Most definitely.

Mix in a healthy dose of unchallenged self-hating homophobia and some flat-out plagiarism and what have you got? A typical day on The Lionel show.

What we learned today:

• Lionel's new application of "Socratic" is even more wrong than yesterday's.




• Something something Nancy Grace.




• Your hands could be gay -- not that there's anything wrong with that.




• Today's Word of the Day Toilet Paper Square: Physiognomy.




• "Site" is also a confusing concept, along with "blog", "thread" and "post". At least it's confusing to Lionel.




• Lionel doesn't want to be "too pedantic, too professorial". Luckily, he still wants to be Socratic.




• There a two kinds of court cases: Criminal and Civil.




• Something else about Nancy Grace.




• Nancy Grace is the harridan, the meretrix, the virago, the termagant of CNN.




• Lionel knows some very fancy ways to call a woman a cunt.




• Contrary to what every unabridged dictionary will tell you, "meretrix" is not pronounced "me-reh-trix". It's actually "meer-trix". Just ask Lionel.




• The questions are more important than the answers. Which explains why Lionel has so little actual information to offer on any subject.




• In radio, everyone is a whore. (But is everyone a meretrix?)




• Lionel is gay on his left side. (however, he's annoying on both sides)

Yeah, I listened again so you don't have to. Luckily, Lionel provides such a target-rich environment that these posts pretty much write themselves.

What we learned on today's Lionel Show:

• Today's show has organically melded synergetic completion.




• In New Jersey, they call mentally ill people "idiots".




• Lionel doesn't know what the Socratic Method is.




• Some dude having something to do with Anna Nicole Smith did something.




• Lionel thinks "defragmenting" is a synonym for "fragmenting".




• Rock Legend, John Kay of Steppenwolf will be on in "Module 3".




• "Born to be Wild" is an "anthem".




• Lionel is still unclear on the blog vs thread thing.




• Lionel's Word of the Day Toilet Paper had "adumbration" on top today.




• Lionel doesn't like it when other people make lame jokes on his show.




• Lionel knows many words beginning with "con", though he can't use any of them properly in a sentence.




• Blogging is devoid of human contact and is about as valid as mumbling.




• Using two or three big words when one simple word will do is not at all boring or annoying. On the contrary, it shows how erudite, how sagacious, how, dare I say, au courant the host is.




• Voting based on hair quality is stupid.




• Voting rights for the mentally ill is a very important issue, but not so important that a radio host should do anything more than the most cursory research on it.




• If you miss a second of Lionel's show, you miss "a lot".




• "Acquitted" and "not guilty" are synonyms.




• Bipolar disorder is a chemical brain imbalance.

What information does Lionel think you need to know? Here's a sampling from today's show:

• This country is 231 years old.
• Threads on blogs are called "threads".
• Bin Laden may be in Pakistan...
• ...but no one really knows.
• We should have supported Pervez Musharraf's nuclear ambitions in exchange for him giving us Bin Laden(!)
• The Surge may result in more violence.
• Lionel doesn't know what "Gordian Knot" means.
• Lionel thinks a female guest who laughs uncomfortably during an interview "digs him".
• Lionel thinks that mentioning this will make him seem cheeky and fun, and not at all creepy.
• Mice are not like us.
• Lionel doesn't care what his guests have to say when he has a lame joke to get out.
• Lionel thinks some of his listeners are just too "dense" to understand stem cells.
• The skin cells used in stem cell research are called "fibroblasts." (key info there)
• Normal cells that turn into stem cells are called Induced Pluripotent Stem Cells. (more key info)
• Lionel has no ability to direct an interview toward the key info.
• Monya Baker thinks Lionel's jokes are lame.
• Monya Baker thinks Lionel is lame.
• Lionel can't pronounce "brobdingnagian", but he apparently likes to say it.
• Bush first said he wanted Bin Laden "dead or alive", then he said "I just don't spend that much time on him".
• Those two statements are inconsistent.
• After 9/11, people were in shock. Then later they were, like, "wow".
• Lionel wants to "hammer" Tony Snow.

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/bringbacksam

Dear Air America,

In his short time at Air America, Michael LeBron -- a.k.a. Lionel -- has consistently demonstrated that he has neither the talent, temperment or intellectual rigor to merit a spot in the Air America lineup. The quality of his shows range from annoying to unlistenable, his muddled arguments are cobbled together from right-wing talking points and he has shown nothing but contempt for loyal Air America listeners and their progressive values.

The final straw came this week when Mr. LeBron invited his friend Bill Donohue on for a friendly chat about alleged Catholic-bashing in the media. When callers objected to giving a homophobic, anti-semitic fascist a platform to spout his hate, Mr. LeBron responded with a blog post stating that his callers were "stupid", "pathetic" and reiterating his "contempt ... and concomitant pity" for them.

This is something that would never happen on a Sam Seder radio show. First, Sam has done enough research to know that Bill Donohue is a hateful demagogue who has had more than enough opportunity to spout his views on other media outlets. Also Sam, being one of the most accessible and considerate radio hosts in the business, would never have responded to listeners' objections with anything but respect and a genuine desire to address their concerns. Finally, Sam has enough self-awareness to know that a post like Mr. LeBron's does nothing but reveal the writer as an insecure pedant and desperate intellectual poser.

We therefore respectfully request that you restore Air America's commitment to progressive values by dropping The Lionel Show from your lineup and reinstating Sam Seder as your weekday morning host.

Sincerely,
The Undersigned