I'm on a mission from God

I was home skooled and got an 500 on the SATs and was admitted to Jerry Falwell's Liberty University three years ago.

Ever since our reverend died, there has been a black hole in the heart of our community. Our flock needs a new shepherd to guide us into the end times. Over the past 7 years we at Liberty University have come to love our Commander in Chief because Jesus Christ is his favorite philosopher and he has a faith based policy on climate change.

The abortionists, the pagans, the feminists, the evolution peddlers, the homosexual agenda, liberalism, it is all the work of Satan! The ACLU and Air America Radio only grow in strength. The rapture is imminent!!!

We need stubborn leadership, we need to stay the course Dr. Falwell laid out for us.
We need George W. Bush to resign the presidency and take over as Dean of Liberty University!!

We need to be an accredited school!!!

We are going to New London to beg him to "fall out of love with politics" and avoid impeachment by resigning and taking over Liberty University!

If Bush hears us and takes over where Jerry Falwell left off our prayers will have been answered. It will be better than teaching creationism in public schools!!

Trumpets will sound from Liberty Mountain!
We will relax our prohibitions on attending dances!!
We will allow our students to watch R-rated movies!

Well, just the Passion of the Christ

Please be our dean Mr. Bush!