slag's blog

Prime Minister John Howard - Australia

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote: 'IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.'

'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom'

'We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society. Learn the language!'

'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.'

'We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.'

'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom,

1. I was born here (it can be way hard to get foreign citizenship--I hear there are tests and everything).

2. I like America's version of Freedom of Speech better than that of any other country I've encountered, and I hear Australia's got some wicked censorship laws.

3. Most of my friends are here. BTW-Have I ever introduced you to [Jane], my friend from Korea, or [Doe], my friend from Thailand...? We do have a bit of a language barrier sometimes, but they're pretty smart and are doing great research in the hopes of solving some of the world's problems. Plus, [Jane] helped me out with some stats work I had to do last year. She's awesome!

4. I know the best restaurants here, including the Greek place on the corner and the Thai place next door. Great vegetarian dolmades and pad thai, respectively. I'll take you on your next visit.

5. I like that, in America, YOUR LIFESTYLE can be totally different from MY LIFESTYLE as long as neither one of us pollutes OUR ENVIRONMENT, destroys OUR NATURAL RESOURCES, or tries to force others into Our Way Of Life. The same may be true for Australia, but the email you sent suggests otherwise. I know it's not true for countries like Iran. Gotta love that US Constitution!

6. God may be part of Australia's culture, but it's not part of mine. I really wouldn't fit in there. Don't get me wrong, I have lots of friends who do have God as part of their culture, but I also have lots of friends who don't. I like having the freedom to choose whether or not I want God in my life and not having it forced on me, if I can avoid it. My God-loving friends say that God gave us minds because He wants us to use them. And when I asked one of them whether or not Jesus actually said that I should hate gay people, she responded with, "No. Jesus says love your motherfuckinneighbor," which totally cracked me up. That reminds me:

7. Americans can be pretty damned funny. Now, I know that there are funny people all over the world (some of whom live in Australia), but in America, we have HI-larious people like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Unfortunately, if you live in Canada and in some other countries, you have a harder time watching these guys. Not sure if I'd be able to pick them up in Australia, so I'm going to go ahead and stick with America, if that's ok.
Speaking of which...

8. One of the good things about America is that--sometimes--yes, you do have the right to leave. It's true that it's not as good as Australia in that you can't really take a trip to Cuba, but who wants to go there? In that respect, Australia has a very slight advantage over America.

Yes, America is facing some problems right now. We have suspended habeas corpus, the Senate has just granted immunity to telecommunication companies who have possibly committed crimes, and we are facing all sorts of attacks on our freedoms (military tribunals, etc). So, I don't blame you for your interest in Australia. But do you really think now is a good time to abandon your country?

Well, if you do decide to go, just some travel advice: When you get there, don't expect to hear too much from that John Howard guy. Strangely enough, he's no longer Australia's Prime Minister, as he was replaced by this guy who just apologized to the aboriginals for the "forced removal of Aboriginal children from their families under past assimilation policies". Damn! Those immigrants sure do crazy things! Let's hope none of those folks try to force us to adopt a HOMOGENEOUS LIFESTYLE. That would totally suck.